Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Day 5 Evening

I made the kids mac & cheese for dinner. It was so difficult not to take a bite! I was good, however. Trader Joe's makes a reduced fat mayonnaise that does not have sugar in it. I mixed some with a can of tuna. I toasted two pieces of the Ezekiel bread, split the tuna mixture between the two, and topped with some reduced fat white cheddar and tomatoes. I broiled it for a few minutes. It was delicious!

I think I have been overusing the word "delicious". Must think of synonyms!

In related news, I have learned to sit and wait for my food to digest. Immediately after eating dinner I thought I wanted something sweet. I thought I was still hungry. After letting the food settle I found that I am not hungry. This is a big lesson for me.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Day 3

Day 3 is off to a roarin' start. I felt so awake and good this morning even despite not getting good rest last night. I haven't had shakiness or sweating since yesterday so hopefully that means I am over the hump.

For breakfast this morning I had a bit (about 3/4 cup) of nonfat Greek yogurt. About a half hour later I had a breakfast burrito made by Phil's Fresh Foods. Yup, it's a Facebook link but it looks like they've changed their name to EVOL and don't have the flavor I had this morning. Oh well. This burrito was nomtastic with some Trader Joe's organic tomatillo salsa (no sugar!) and I was sated until about 10:30 a.m.

Snack was delicious as well! I had the recommended serving size of 7 reduced fat Triscuits, a Frigo light string cheese, and a fruit leather from Trader Joe's called "Fiberful"!



This baby has Nutrition Facts to die for. 60 calories, no fat, 5 mg sodium, 14 g carbs, 6 g fiber, 8 g sugars, 1 g protein. The ingredients are Dried Fruits From Fresh Pulp (apple, boysenberry, blackberry, raspberry, strawberry, plum, blackcurrant, cherry), Psyllium Husk, Flaxseed Meal, Soy Protein, Fibre Sweet Fibre (Inulin), Ascorbic Acid.

I had to research inulin as I didn't know if it contained sugar. You know, some of these things are tricky! It seems harmless and I am really glad about that because this fruit leather was deeeeeeeeeelicious! I can't wait to try the apricot one tomorrow.

Anyway, this snack was definitely filling and kept me fueled until about 12:30 when it was (is) time for lunch.

Lunch is a can of Trader Joe's (haha, guess where I shopped last night) Organic Lentil Vegetable Soup, 1/2 cup of brown rice, and 2 boneless skinless chicken thighs left from last night. Oh, and a Diet Pepsi. ;-)

I've been reading a lot about Clean Eating lately. In a magazine I got (called, hey!, Clean Eating) there was a quote:

Does this food contribute to my health and wellness?

I thought this was an especially pointed question to ask myself before putting something in my mouth.

Well, that's all I've got so far today. I have to say that my energy definitely seems to be up in the past day or so!

Monday, November 2, 2009

Day 2 Evening

Do you know how hard it is to not eat one little spoonful, one tiny spoonful, of prepackaged rice mix while preparing it for your family? Well, I'll tell you: it's really difficult. Extremely difficult. But I didn't do it!

I had 1/2 cup of brown rice, 1 cup of green beans, and four small boneless skinless chicken thighs.

This afternoon I had a snack of an apple and almond butter. Also, I oddly had more energy than I've had in a while. It was brilliant!

Day 2 - Afternoon

Well, first let's start with the morning. About an hour after I ate breakfast I got the sweats and the shakes. That was not fun. My body was firmly protesting its lack of sugar. I knew I had consumed enough calories but ate a small handful of unsalted almonds anyway. Finally, it stopped. I had a meeting to go to and after the meeting I had a lowfat string cheese and a medium honey crisp apple. (BTW, are those not the best apples ever?!)

I was definitely getting hungry around noon. Lunchtime was upon us. This morning I grabbed another Amy's entree out of the freezer at home. It was Indian Mattar Paneer. I've decided not to bore you with the ingredient list but rest assured there was nary a sweetener in sight. I love this frozen meal, actually. I've got to cut down on those and I will tomorrow. (I'm making extra chicken thighs tonight.) I am also having one of my last Diet Pepsis.

So, why am I sugar addicted in the first place? I wish I could tell you. I have a long and painful history with food. I can remember sneaking food as early as probably 10 or 11. I would sneak cookies, chips, ice cream, etc. Our family was lower to mid-middle class and my parents definitely tried to shave items off the budget if at all possible. They didn't (and still don't, actually) have snack foods cluttering up the pantry or refrigerator. What was in our food supply was actually needed for breakfasts, lunches, or dinners. I'm not trying to say we were starving or destitute or even unspoiled children. In fact, we would occasionally be given a candy bar if we should happen to venture out with dad. It's just that my parents didn't keep candy, chips, etc. around. They don't do that even now and it's not due to lack of funds for America's finest snack products. They're just not big snackers. Even as recently as last week I was a food sneaker. I'm trying not to be. It's not a good thing and it has a sense of shame associated with it. Even last week I stopped at McDonald's for a "large value meal #2 with a Diet Coke". I'd eat it on the way to pick up my daughter and then dispose of the refuse without - hopefully - letting my husband or kids know I'd eaten it. As I write this down it seems crazy to me that I did that. After all, I'm a grown woman and I can eat whatever the hell I want to eat. My husband is not some ogre who is obsessed with having a thin wife who doesn't eat McDonald's. Chances are good he probably doesn't care if I eat McDonald's. So why do I do it?

That's a deep question. I think the reasons are many. I have been super stressed out due to work and home transitions over the past couple of months. I always seem to think that eating will help me feel better. Eating will soothe my soul. Perhaps it's be all right if, perhaps, I was eating carrot sticks or apples but chances are more likely I would be eating donuts and Oreos. I also eat to try to fill a hole in me. If my feelings are hurt or upset I want to stuff it full of chocolate or chips or anything, anything in order for me not to have to actually feel that emotion. That is some seriously unhealthy stuff right there.

So. In conjunction with quitting sugar I am trying to get generally more healthy. I am going to blog my journey in the hopes that it will help me get my head straight. And I am going to be painfully honest here. I don't know you; you don't know me. I have no reason to hide and deny mistakes. I'm sure there will be some along the way. But, you know what? I'm tired of being derailed by mistakes. I want to try to learn from them. I want to get back up on that horse and ride it into the sunset.